Guilty

And the Judge says, "You are found Guilty! You will be sentenced to 72 years of Jail!"

The people rejoice. Finally we have justice!

And the Judge continue, "You don't have to go to jail. Pay us some pocket change and go home. We'll give you one year to appeal. If you fail, we will give you a chance to appeal again in Federal court. If you fail again, you can try to get a pardon from King. Just take your time."

The people silence. Birds fly from east to west. Flies fly from north to south. The people silence.

Work

The only way you can get work done is if you are not at work; for if you are at work, no work can be done.

Election

Do you want to do what's right or what you really want?
Do you want to vote for someone who do the right thing or do something you want deep down?
That explains why Trump win!

Good Cop Bad Cop

The previous generation of raising kids are based on the "Good Cop Bad Cop" policy. Father being the bad cop- strict and persistent. Mother being the good cop- caring & sensitive. The product is what we referred as the X Generation. The next generation however, are being raised on a different policy- a "Good cop Scared Cop" policy. The Mother's policy remain unchanged whilst the father's position has been slightly altered- from being strict and persistent to Scary. Its not the kids are there scared of the father however, but the father that is scared of the mother's criticism if he chose to be strict and fierce to the kids. It appears that the approach is no longer acceptable in the new age. The final results? We'll know soon as the new product - Z Generation is out to the shelf soon.

Driving in Malaysia ... Part IV

Number 7: Double Parking
If you are new to Malaysia traffic, then you better get ready for this. Double parking and/or triple parking! Do not be surprised when you vehicle being blocked by cars that double park or even triple park. This can happen even when it is 12 midnight with empty parking just 10 steps away! Those drivers may not be reach even if you horn, shout or jump like a crazy monkey. Feel free to use your car to push them out of the way. I don't think they will report to the police as they break the law first. I am pretty sure the crowd on the scene will cheers and be on your side.

Driving in Malaysia ... Part III

Number 6: Holes and Road Humps
Driving in Malaysia often reminds me of playing a PC game, namely Sim City II. As a mayor of the Sim City, I can choose to reduce my budget in Roads in order to achieve a budget surplus. The downside of doing so is that my entire city will be filled with Roads with Holes. That's a game, a good one as a matter of fact. In real life, I am experiencing it every day. There are incredible amount of holes on any roads in Malaysia.

I think we all agree that speeding is a major issue for any country. Building a speed hump could be costly in some situation. For example, there are 20 speed humps in a short 500 meter road just outside my office. You can imagine the frustration I have to go thru everyday. Sometimes I question the purpose of speed humps as cars in Malaysia really couldn't drive fast with all those holes everywhere. On second thought, maybe the politician deliberately making sure we have all these holes so that Speeding issue can be reduced :) Bravo! You guys are doing a great job! :)

Driving in Malaysia ... Part II

Number 4: Road Direction / Signs
The directory signs in Malaysia are carefully placed in such a way that you can not read them. They were often placed at a location that is either too far or too difficult to read. There is a perfectly good reason for them to do so. The contents are frequently wrongly advised and/or leads you to a longer path with Tol. The contractors who placed the sign must have know that, therefore placing it in weird location, hoping that you will miss them. The nature seems to be agreeing with them. Trees are often grown to block the view of the road signs. Isn't it amazing to see how nature takes sides :) Hint for the day: When you decide to follow a road sign, you are rolling a dice and taking your chances.

Number 5: Smaller Road Signs
On the bright side, the smaller road signs that indicate the Road name are usually accurate. However, just when you think you can rely on them, you are unfortunately disappointment again. Most of these smaller road signs will be covered by little advertisements from loan shark, fake medicine suppliers and others. You can barely read the road names. Hint for the day, use a GPS when you are closing in.

To be continue...

Driving in Malaysia

Driving in Malaysia (particularly in Klang Valley) required special set of skills. Here's some hint for those driving in Malaysia for the very first time.

Number 1: Never use 'Signal'.
Using signal is an indication of weakness. Nobody will allow you to change lane if you use signal. They will speed up (particularly those who are more fragile like motocycle or little cars) causing you delay, and often miss a turn you intend to make. Instead, you may 'fake' a turn but lightly move the steering wheel to the direction you wish to turn and then back to straight line. This will scare any cars or motocycle therefore causing them to slow down. You are then required to make your move within seconds of your 'fake' move. Failure to do so will irritate others, causing them to speed up and possibly raising an arm with an extended finger.

Number 2: Positioning
It is important to know that there are many heroic drivers in Malaysia who often use the 'keep left to turn right' and 'keep right to turn left' approach. Always be prepared for such hero drivers.

Number 3: Keep to the left in peak hours
It is wise to keep to the left lane if you are stuck in traffic jam. There are plenty of heroic drivers using the 'emergency lane' therefore the left lane is more like a lane and a half. Feel free to use the Emergency lane although you will suffer Maximum Fine if you get caught. Police are often hiding behind trees, and occasionally come from no where and show up at your back.

To be continue....

Culture

Australian's favorite introduction topic - Weather. Oh its beautiful, its freezing, its freaking hot, bla bla bla.

Malaysian's favorite introduction topic - Traffic. Its Jam, its very Jam, its super unbelievably not movable, yada yada yada..

Take note or you'll be cultural shock!

China Man

How do you differentiate a Malaysian Chinese and a Chinese from China? Apparently even the local Indian can tell the difference nowadays- that is after one open their mouth. If you can hear someone talking miles away (so far that even your adjacent neighborhood’s dog can hear), then you’ll know the answer.